I’m not alone experiencing ‘night terrors’. Waking up in the wee hours gripped with anxiety’s sweat. Like the psalmist writes–‘…the terror of night…the pestilence that stalks in the darkness…’ (Psalm 91:5-6). Apt description, wondering when yet another of life’s shoes will drop. Especially during these pandemic times.
But our psalmist offers hope– ‘…you will not fear the terror of night…nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness’ (Ps.91:5-6). We won’t? How? Easier said than done.
Prayer offers me relief. Startled awake, I spend time with God, reducing fear and panic. I’ve much to pray about. Asking relief for those up against it. Help for family and friends. Praising Him for so much. Prayer pushes worry to the exit. Shoved out the door. Not enough room for both. At least for awhile.
Here’s more help. 1 John 4: 16–‘And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.’ God’s love, known and relied upon. But to be honest, I fear God’s punishment more than I rely upon His love. The back of His hand more than His helping hand. His patience running dangerously thin. Distrusting His love more than trusting it.
Sorry to admit this. Shameful for a retired pastor? Hey, the Lord knows. Comes as no surprise to Him. After all, honesty with Jesus is never rejected. It’s repentance and humility He looks for. As in owning up.
1 John 4: 18–‘There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear…’ Letting God’s love simmer in my soul helps cast out fear. Holding onto Him for dear life. As if nothing else really matters… but Him.
Yes, I’ve a long way to go. I’m neither faultless nor flawless. Not even close. Barely out of the starting gate. Still in faith’s kindergarten. But when I think of how much I love our children and grandchildren, and how each one is far from perfect, yet how much I love them anyway, then how about God and His love for you and me? Think about that this week.
Thank you, Jesus, for being our Lord and Savior… and Friend. Amen.