Some early memories I have are not the very best. Times in the hospital, being treated with hot packs, for polio at the age of two, compounded by the feeling of not being wanted. I’m sure my mother was kidding when she would tell me that my father was very excited to have another child, but that she wasn’t. She’d laugh but I heard that story so many times. Left me wondering.
I know… life was tough for my mother. She had little parental support when she and my father had barely 2 wooden nickels to rub together. Business for a house painter was always iffy. One more mouth may have seemed like more of a burden than a joy. Guess that was the case. But I don’t know. Way down deep those words hurt and led to a deep-seated insecurity I’ve always struggled with.
Unfortunately, I know I’ve heard ‘amen’ from many of you who struggle with something similar. When I first became a believer in Jesus at age 16, I was excited about everything Christian. But I wondered if I really was born-again. I tried my level best. I prayed and prayed. Went to church Sunday morning and then that evening. Even to Wednesday night prayer meeting. I went forward as often as I could, whenever the invitation was given for salvation.
Some people collect stamps…I went forward! I was re-baptized by immersion hoping the water would wash my doubts away. It didn’t. The doubts hung around like unwelcome guests who never know when to leave. Psalm 3: 2–‘…many are saying of my soul, there is no salvation for him in God.’ But for me, the ‘many’ were inside my own head. I was undermining my own faith in the Lord.
How did King David, the author of this psalm, overcome the doubts thrown at him? Verse 3 says that he remembered all the ways that the Lord cared for him in the past, all the goodness of God. For me, a new believer, I didn’t have much ‘past’ in the Lord to rely on. So, it took awhile. The Lord was with me…to secure me in Himself through His Word, which let me know how much He loved me, how much He wanted me, and that He would go to any length to make me His child. Even death on a cross.
It’s not really our salvation, anyway…it’s His. Look at verse 8 on Psalm 3–‘Salvation belongs to the Lord…’ I’ve learned over-the-years to stop listening to doubtful voices from the past, and to listen ( it’s not always easy)to the Lord in His Word, the Bible. Salvation belongs to Him…and so do I!
Prayer: Lord, thank you for giving us your salvation. In Jesus’ name. Amen.